Fragments of You and I
by Nikholas F. Toledo Zu
Summary: Sho is not good in dealing with ghosts, especially the one that lurks inside his wife's head. Even after all those years, he dare not ask the one question that could either make or break him. "Do you love me, Kyoko?"
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: Skip Beat! is by Nakamura Yoshiki

* * *

_**Fragments of You and I**_

Sho is not good in dealing with ghosts, especially the one that lurks inside his wife's head. Even after all those years, he dare not ask the one question that could either make or break him. "Do you love me, Kyoko?"

* * *

___.o.0.o.:. __**Prologue** .:_.o.0.o.

The gravel crunches underneath the wheels as he maneuvers the motorcycle to a full stop. He pulls the keys out of the ignition and pockets them in his leather jacket as he dismounts. He impatiently takes off the stifling helmet, holding it in a loose grip as he trudges through the wrought iron gate, following the paved path that leads him to his destination.

The wind picks up, blowing his bottle-blonde fringe across his eyes as he stops and stares down at the one person whom he thought he could never get the better of despite his best efforts.

"I hate you."

It surprises him how smoothly the words seem to roll of his own tongue despite the amount of rancor in that single statement.

"I wanted to hate her too, for choosing you, over me. But that would make me a fuckin' hypocrite, wouldn't it? Considering that I was the one who threw her away in the first place."

He looks up to see dark clouds gathering above the horizon, shrouding the sun and layering the sky in shades of gray. The oncoming tempest reminds him of her anger, wild and consuming. The wry smirk that twists his lips is a compulsion he gives into all too easily. "Love. Hate. They were just sides of the same coin. Didn't matter which side lands face-up, I was still the center of her world. I knew her best, I could win her back anytime I wanted... or so I thought."

He takes a deep breath, bracing himself against the wave of jealousy that comes with remembrance. "I knew you were in love with her, that much was obvious. Stupid girl, couldn't even see what was staring at her right in the face. It was only later on when I realized that my own foolish reasons for inciting her anger were not as clear-cut as I thought them to be."

He laughs. The sound grates against his ears, dead and hollow, like the rattling of old bones. His fake laughter dissipates and stutters into a despondent sigh. He is suddenly very, very tired. Tired of the lies he tells others, but mostly, he is weary of the lies he feeds himself. He decides to try a bit of honesty for a change.

"My greatest fear, was that she'd wake up one day and decide to love you back."

Lightning flashes like fractures of electricity across the blanket of darkness, throwing his profile in harsh relief. A sharp thunder clap shatters the silence a few seconds later, almost drowning out his resentful and guilt-ridden confession.

"... And you'd both live happily ever after."

He squints, glaring at the name engraved on the stone which he now knows to be a fake. But those left behind need something tangible, something to remember that damn bastard. And a grave was a very tangible reminder that one was very much dead.

"She was supposed to be happy..." he whispers, blinking back the prickling sensation behind his eyes. "_YOU_ were supposed to make her happy, _BECAUSE I NEVER COULD_!" He throws the helmet to the ground in a sudden burst of anger, flinging his arms and yells accusingly at the silent grave, "So, why the _FUCK_ did you have to _DIE_ on her?"

The thought is as sobering as the sudden downpour brought on by a summer rainstorm, plastering his bleached blonde hair against his skull, drenching him to the bone. But it did nothing for the acid burning a hole in his chest.

Tsuruga is dead. And Sho is left to pick up the broken pieces of Kyoko's shattered heart.

_.o.0.o.O.o.0.o._

* * *

A/N: I apologize for nothing. *DEATH BY [insert preferred mode of torture here]*_  
_


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Skip Beat! is by Nakamura Yoshiki

* * *

_**Chapter I**_

_君に触れていたいと 思う俺は何だ!?_

_Wanting to be touched by you. But what am I thinking?!_

_今になって思い知った_

And just now I realized

_大切な事を唄い忘れていた_

_I forgot to sing about what's really important_

_- Title of Mine by Bump of Chicken_

* * *

"So, Tsuruga-san, is it true that you two are dating?"

With roughly 7,500 miles and an ocean between them, that damn bastard still managed to end up within his line of sight. The question was probably about some random lady co-star, scripted into the interview to build up the romantic hype of Tsuruga's first Hollywood movie. He gave it no more than a passing thought as he made his way across the lounge, intent on ignoring the rest of the interview.

"I'd rather answer that question with Kyoko when I return to Japan." Trusuga replied evasively, flashing his famous gentlemanly smile at the camera.

The mere mention of her name brought him to an abrupt halt. His fingers felt numb, the bag he was carrying fell and hit the floor with dull thud. He turned and glared at the TV screen with narrowed eyes. "The fuck is he talking about?"

"Ah. You're putting everyone on edge here, Tsuruga-san." The interviewer laughed and re-phrased the question, hoping to weasel out an answer by any means necessary, "Her fans just want to know what your intentions are towards Kyoko-san."

_'That frivolous way of thinking is bound to get you in trouble. Honestly, Kyoko, do you really think he's serious about you?'_

"Intentions? My intentions are fairly straight forward when it comes to Kyoko."

Sho hated the way the bastard savored her name. He hated the undercurrent of possibilities in that statement. He only needed to look at the talk-show host to know that the affection in the actor's tone did not go unnoticed either.

"And they are...?" the host asked leadingly, panting like a bitch over his every word.

_'The problem with you, Kyoko, is that you dream too much. Nobody wants to be burdened by those expectations of yours.'_

Tsuruga replied in a voice that rang with determination and sincerity, "I would very much like to marry Kyoko, if she would have me."

_'Is that why you threw me away, Sho? Because I was a burden to you?'_

He was surprised to find himself standing in front of the lounge's widescreen TV, hands curled in white-knuckled fists at his sides. The excited chatter around him brought him back to the present, even as Kyoko's question echoed in his head. Tsuruga's proposal seemed to make a mockery of him. The actor's words made him realize just how laughable his chances were of getting Kyoko back.

Blamimg a girl for her expectations just because he wasn't man enough to measure up to them. Pathetic.

Sho abruptly broke away from the gathering crowd and picked up his bag on his way out of lounge, jaws tight with tension and face flushed with shame. As luck would have it, he chanced upon an empty elevator and rode it all the way down to the basement without any intermission. He automatically pressed '2' the moment he stepped out, only to be informed by a recording that he was calling an invalid number. Left with no other option, he thumbed through his call list for Shoko's number instead.

She picked up on the third ring, just as he reached his parking slot to unlock his car. "Hello, Aki speaking."

"Is Kyoko one of the presenters for the awards night next weekend?" he asked brusqely, forgoing any greeting or explanation whatsoever.

"Ah- yes," He could hear her shuffling papers in the background. "I do believe she is-"

"Did she or her agency confirm her attendance?" He demanded, phone tucked between his shoulder and chin as he jerked the side door open and threw the bag he was carrying at the backseat.

"Well, her name is on the program itinerary, so I could only assume that they did." His manager replied testily, obviously annoyed with him firing questions like a demented drill sergeant.

"Ok, great. Thanks-"

"I saw Tsuruga-san's interview this afternoon." Shoko cut in deliberately, the unspoken warning clear in her tone.

"So what?" he countered dismissively as he slid behind the wheel and slammed the car door with more force than necessary, "As if a shoddy proposal like that would ever stop me from-"

"Don't do it, Sho. Whatever it is that you're planning to do, just DON'T. The last thing we need is LME filing a restraining order against you for antagonizing Kyoko!"

He would have laughed outright at her baseless threat, if only his sense of humor had not been completely smothered by the mounting panic in his chest. The last thing he needed was Shoko harping on him about this latest development.

"Good-bye, Shoko."

Sho tapped the screen to cut the call and chucked his phone at the dashboard. He heaved a sigh and met his own gaze on the sidemirror. The devil-may-care smile he perfected was not forthcoming; the most he could managed was a baring of teeth that reeked of fakeness. He ran a hand down his face only to rake his fingers back up through his hair in frustration.

Just when did everything started spiralling out of his control?

The last time they talked was roughly around a month ago. Having learned that she was actually dating Tsuruga made him particularly vicious with his taunts and insults. Looking back, he couldn't even blame her for walking out in the middle of his tirade - hell, he deserved to be slapped for half the things he said to her. The thought of remembering that particular incident made him cringe.

But even then, in his arrogance, he actually thought that he could still win her back. He just needed to win one more award, compose one more platinum single, compile one more record braking album... Sooner or later she was bound to see just how great he was! He would be so famous that she would hardly be able to ignore him! Yeah... right. Who the hell was he kidding, anyway?

If everything were that simple, then why do the songs he penned on paper lately seemed like bitter soliloquies? Why is it that every award and record certification he won were reduced to just mere statistics? And despite having a different girl on his arm (or in his bed) every week, why fuck does he feel so goddamn empty all the time?

Sho gripped the steering wheel with both hands and dejectedly leaned his forehead against the curved wooden handle. He knew the answer all too well.

He just needed her to listen to him again. To see him gain.

"Because... dammit, she's not supposed to be looking at anyone else."

* * *

A/N: Never thought this chapter would actually go beyond a thousand words. I was really planning to keep it short, but Sho ran away with the scene. Oh well, it think it's better this way. It does flow better than my original draft.


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Skip Beat! is by Nakamura Yoshiki

* * *

_**Chapter II**_

_まだ 虹を作ってる すがる様に繰り返してる_

_I'm still making rainbows. Doing it again and again with desperation._

_触れられないって事も 知りながら 手を伸ばす_

_Even knowing that I couldn't touch it, I still hold out my hand_

_名前があったなぁ 白くて 背の高い花_

_That tall white flower had a name... didn't it?_

_枯れて解ったよ あれは僕のタメ 咲いてた_

_Only when it wilted, did I realize that it bloomed for me._

_- Harujion by Bump of Chicken_

* * *

If anyone told him three years ago that Mogami Kyoko would one day take his breath away, he would have laughed in their faces and mockingly told them that no amount of makeover was going to make a swan out of a duck.

Well, Fuwa Sho wasn't laughing now. He was too busy reminding himself to breathe while calling himself fifty kinds of fool in his head.

He caught her just as she was saying her goodbyes to one of the award organizers on his way back from the cloak room. She apologized for not being able to attend the party after the awards, an early photoshoot in the morning was her excuse. Their eyes met when she straightened from her graceful bow, she gave a small start, but was quick to avert her gaze from his. The woman to whom she was talking soon went back inside the grand ballroom, leaving the two of them alone in the receiving hall.

Kyoko was a vision of fiery elegance wrapped in a flowing strapless chiffon gown stained with the hues of a magnificent sunset. It had a modest neckline, but it left her shoulders and most of her back deliciously bare. Her hair was slicked back and piled atop her head in a severe bun, showing off her cheekbones and the clean line of her neck. The only jewelry she wore was a pair of dangling gold earrings and the matching bangles on her left wrist.

The absence of a ring on her finger was all the incentive he needed.

He pushed himself off the wall and approached her, his every step and echoing footfall filled with purpose. "We need to talk."

"No, we don't," she countered dismissively as she walked past him without even meeting his eyes. "I don't have anything to say to you."

He easily caught up with her in two quick strides, his hand automatically latching on to her arm and turning her around to face him. "Well, I do. Could you stop being a bitch for just five minutes and listen to me?"

That came out horribly wrong. He wanted to kick himself for the knee-jerk response and groaned inwardly at the venomous look she threw at him.

"The most I could spare you is five seconds." Her amber eyes, made more cat-like by her smokey eye make-up, narrowed at him, "Start talking, Sho."

"Stop being unreasonable! That's not nearly enough time to-"

"Five... four..."

"Stop counting, dammit!" he growled, resisting the childish urge to stomp his foot in frustration.

Kyoko merely raised a condescending eyebrow and said, "three..."

He wanted to point out that she never intended to give him a chance in the first place. But any remark from him, tinged with even the barest hint of antagonism, would have resulted in a shouting match. The volatile kind of confrontation that made him want to back her up against a wall and kiss her senseless. It would have definitely gone a long way in satisfying his curiosity, wondering if her rogue painted lips would taste the same as when he first kissed her on Valentine's day. The only thing that kept him from doing so was the certainty that she would despise him for it; more than she ever despised him for stealing her first kiss. Then again, it was not as if she didn't already hate him enough for simply breathing the same air.

"two..."

"Shut-it, will you?!" he growled.

In the next heartbeat he had her wrists pinned to the wall above her with one hand, and the other covering her mouth, putting a stop to her annoying countdown. He always thought that he was a civilized human being, but Kyoko could rile him up and get under his skin with little to no effort.

The situation brought a feeling of déjà vu, they were once again in that parking lot at TBM from two years ago, when he forced her to declare that she felt nothing for that two-faced bastard. He leaned down to meet her amber glare and could tell that she was thinking the same thing. There was a whole world of difference between then and now, but it irked him to know that he always lose his cool when it comes to her.

"Look, I'm sorry for-" he stopped, then sighed. He gathered his thoughts and started again, "I'm sorry for being an ass the last time we met. I was way out of line. And you didn't-" he swallowed past the lump in his throat and lowered his gaze, "you didn't deserve that kind of trash talk."

He could feel the weight of her golden gaze on him, weighing his words. She had not walked out in the middle of his apology, which he took to be a good sign. His grip slackened, enough for her to pull out of his hold and put a respectable distance between them. The silence stretched; it became awkward, went past uncomfortable, and turned downright ominous.

"Is that all?"

He looked up at the slight tremor in her voice and found himself unable to look away.

"You called me frivolous, when all I did was take a chance at a relationship. You accused me of dreaming too much, when I dared to believe that someone could love me. You even mocked me for wanting to make that someone happy."

Kyoko delivered each accusation with impunity in a deceptively calm and measured tone. But he was undone by the tears that she stubbornly refused to let fall. She stopped crying in front of him when they were six to spare his feelings. At nineteen, she refused to cry in front of him out of sheer pride. Because crying meant losing. And Mogami Kyoko swore that she would never lose to Fuwa Sho again.

"If accepting your apology will get you to leave me the alone, then fine, I forgive you. But this would be the last time. I'm done listening to whatever it you have to say. Do us both a favor and just leave me alone."

Underneath the burning rage of her amber gaze was a seething mass of hurt. He finally managed to push Kyoko too far and inadvertently broke something in the process. He never meant for things to get so out of hand. He was once again rendered helpless by his ineptitude. He only wanted to incite her anger, to ensure his presence in her life- but he never meant to hurt her. Not like this. Never like this.

"What would it take for you to believe me? Should I prostrate myself on all fours and beg?" Sho asked tightly, hurt and slighted at having his apology thrown at his face. "Listen to me, Kyoko. I know I could be stupid and boorish at times. I said all those things in retaliation to make you angry, and mostly because I was frustrated with myself. But I never truly meant to hurt you."

"Self-frustration drove you to vilify me? That's a record low, even for you," she said with acrimonious incredulity.

Sho braced himself, fully expecting Kyoko to slap him. He never expected her to chuckle mirthlessly, pressing the heel of her palm against her eye as she desperately fought back a wave of angry tears. "Are you really so cruel as to begrudge me this precious little happiness I found with someone?"

Her words wound him. Upon reflection, he soon realized that deep inside, he knew them to be true. Kyoko was right, he really was a cruel bastard... and he wasn't going to be changing anytime soon. Not if he wants a fighting chance at getting her back.

"Want to know why it's frustrating, Kyoko?" He patiently waited for her to meet his gaze before continuing, "It's frustrating because that someone is NOT me."

* * *

A/N: I've wanted to use this song for the longest time in an SB! fic. Anyone who had been following my fics could tell that I'm crazy about j-rock bands. Fujiwara Motoh of BoC is a very gifted lyricist. His songs actually have stories to tell.

Harujion is actually the name of the flower referred in the song. It's a type of wild flower and considered almost like a weed by most people.


End file.
